Who has the best hair on Steelers roster?

Published June 8th, 3:23 EDT
by Bo Marchionte

Pittsburgh – It’s OTA time and the idea of writing a magnum opus on the game of football is foolish at best. It’s often a self-induced concoction of presumptuous inner pride that leads us writers to think our genius is descending upon our readers with each click of the keyboard.

In Pittsburgh there are several looming questions that are yet to be answered.

Who will be their starting left tackle? Will Matt Canada’s offensive unit be up to snuff? Is rookie Joey Porter Jr. going to provide the defense with a legitimate No. 1 defensive back?

During these non-padded practice sessions on the South Side of Pittsburgh, none of those questions can be definitively answerable. Plenty of football remains from now until Week 1 to get a much better understanding of some of the topics that can translate into a successful season for the Steelers this fall.

Media policies are in place to limit what can be revealed while the Steelers are in the early stages of their 2023 campaign. Specific things cannot be discussed due to the secretive nature of the National Football League. So, while we the media takes note of what is going on at practice, it might not be something that can be shared with our readers.

However, one topic can be debated openly. There are no restrictions on trying to identify who has the best hair on the team. If locks, curls, and mullets are your thing, then your magnum opus on hair styles awaits.

In ancient Sparta, apparently men wore their hair long. It only seemed fitting to connect some of these warriors of the past with the long-haired warriors that currently play for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Who has the best long hair amongst these gladiators of the gridiron in Pittsburgh.

Tanner Muse lit the fuse on the discussion by revealing that hair was one of the first greetings he received from teammate Gunner Olszewski after he signed with the Steelers earlier this year.

“Yeah (laughing), I told him congratulations on second that you got the second-best hair on the team,” Olszewski said at his locker after the third Tuesday of OTA practices. “He’s got some good hair though it’s nice.”

Muse, however, was reluctant to relinquish bragging rights to Olszewski for the title of ‘best hair’. His long brown hair might be in the running for longest overall on the entire team. It’s up to the standard in the confines of this debate. Remember these are professional athletes, they are a cut above the rest when it comes to being competitive in all avenues of life.

These are the little nuances of the locker room. The banter of teammates in this private and precious space provides some of the absolute best exchanges of playful insults and teasing.

“Definitely me (being No.1) and Gunner is a tight second,” Muse said. “Isaac (Seumalo) is up there. That’s the top three. We got a good little competition going.”

In terms of pure volume and intensity, Seumalo dominates the group. The combination of his 6-foot-4 and 303-pound frame, along with his bouffant Polynesian hair makes Seumalo standout. Any lion would  be envious of Seumalo’s exquisite mane.

The Steelers Zach Gentry sports the regulation cut that is inspired by the military haircut or otherwise known simply as short. The buzz cut doesn’t place him in the realm of the top-notch haircuts residing inside the Pittsburgh locker room. He is, however, one of the funniest players to interact with and since he wasn’t in this competition, he provided a solid voice of reason to gauge whose hair is the best.

“Mullet Man (Monte Pottebaum) is one of the more impressive flows I’ve ever seen, just because it’s so in your face,” Gentry laughed. “That mullet (Pottebaum) that just walked by is rock solid.”

Mullet Man is the nickname given to 2023 undrafted free agent Monte Pottebaum. The rookie fullback is the outlier of the group. Google his Iowa Hawkeyes bio page and bear witness to a clean-cut all-American looking young man. Now he roams the confines of the Steelers facility known as Mullet Man. His short crew cut days are behind him as he’s grown out a very impressive blonde mullet that is almost impossible not to take notice of, especially during warm-ups when the players aren’t wearing helmets.

“He (Gunner Olszewski) just calls me Mullet Man,” Pottebaum said.

“So, I don’t know if that means he likes it or what (laughing). He’s recognized it.”

The mullet came to fruition from being bored out of his mind during covid, Pottebaum said. His boredom along with a conversation at the time with his Iowa teammate led them both to begin the process of growing out their hair into mullets. Now, Pottebaum possesses one of the more unique looks across any NFL roster.

Olszewski does like the mullet, in fact he listed Pottebaum in his top-five.

“I can give you the top-five,” Olszewski said. “Me, (Tanner) Muse, Kenny (Pickett) he might be one. (Kevin) Dotson. Oh yeah Mullet Man (Pottebaum). Mullet Man is number five. He rounds out the top.”

Dotson seemed like an odd choice for Olszewski to mention when you consider some of the more dynamic hairdos in the locker room. The locker room currently exceeds 90 players, leaving a litany of others to be nominated.

“Cole (Holcomb) has some nice hair,” Gentry mentioned as another candidate for best hair. “He’s got a little mullet type action going. Let’s see, (scanning locker room), Meatball (Connor Heyward) has a mushroom on the top of his head. We have been trying to have him cut that all year.”

Always witty, it wouldn’t be a Gentry interview with having some fun with the second-year tight end Heyward. The multi-positional player has often been the brunt of jokes from both Gentry and big brother Cam since he was drafted last year.

A rookie seventh round pick this year in Cory Trice possesses some long locks. When approaching him on the topic he wasn’t shy in declaring himself as the guy with the best hair in the locker room. However, the competition is fierce in the way he wears his hair. Several others like Najee Harris and Madre Harper could give Trice a run for his money.

“I got the best for sure; you know what I’m saying,” Trice jokes. “I’ve been doing this for a long time. I cut it and grew it back. Cut it and grew it back. It always looks good. Yeah, I’m No. 1 (laughing).”

With three self-proclaimed title holders in Muse, Olszewski and Trice. The rookie cornerback joked that while it has not officially been put out there yet, he feels “it’s coming soon though” when the topic of the best hair on the roster is brought out in the open.

Then we have former Army safety Elijah Riley, with a mid-length blowout afro style that is as good as any other style in the locker room. Ironically while watching the team warm-up during week three of the OTA sessions, two reporter buddies immediately mentioned Riley when I told them about this piece I was putting together.

“Hey man, it’s an honor to receive such a great accomplishment,” Riley playfully joked at his locker. “I pride myself on my hair and take care of it. A lot of dudes got some good hair and a lot of long hair. Dang, (Cory) Trice got some long locks. JP (James Pierre) got some long locks.

“I’m trying to get to their length and grow it out. I want it to touch the shoulders maybe. It’s going to keep growing until it looks bad, and I don’t foresee that happening. It’s only going to look better.”

Then we have Isaiahh Loudermilk who, like Seumalo, just stands out for his size and massive amount of hair. As if 6-foot-7 isn’t tall enough and then you add this thick curled mass on top of Loudermilk and he looks even taller. While some of the other guys joked about being No. 1, Loudermilk shied away from anointing himself with the best hair.

“There is some good hair here,” Loudermilk said. “I’m going to go with Gunner’s (Olszewski) just because it’s a little bit silkier and longer. I feel like his is a little bit more iconic. Gunner and Tanner’s (Muse) are up there, but I’m not going to put mine up there because mine is a little different. I just don’t take care as mine as much.”

Minicamp begins next week before the long hiatus before training camp begins in Latrobe. It will be the perfect setting to engage with the players on a topic they all enjoyed discussing – hair. For the players and us in the media it’s nice to exit off the same road and enjoy some new scenery (questions).

Plenty of time for some others to get in the mix for the best hair on the roster.